Disclosure: This information that is quoted or presented in this blog is to share with you my experiences, in hopes that you gain more insight into your child’s learning and behavioral style or tendencies… I do not endorse the websites references sited in my website www.whatzuup.org. A licensed physician should be consulted for diagnosis and treatment of any and all medical conditions. Information provided herein should not be used during any medical emergency or for the diagnosis or treatment of any medical conditions.
I would like to share with you my experience. There is a difference between behavioral problems and bad behavior.
This is the first year my daughter was main streamed from a EH (emotional handicapped program ESE classes). Daily she would go see her former ESE teacher before 5th period. We will call this experience for No Reason.
One day my daughter was on her way to see her ESE teacher to say hello and the hallways were really crowded. Her Inclusion teacher stopped her and told her to go to her 5th period class. My daughter and some friends ducked around and began on there way to see her ESE teacher anyway. The Inclusion teacher caught them and
She took them to the dean office. My daughter started crying. There was a girl in the office that she knew and she asked me why you are in here. The Inclusion teacher asked my daughter “why are you talking?” She did not stop talking. Inclusion teacher told her to stop talking again. My daughter started asking “Why I am I in here when I did not even do nothing?” Then the dean called them into her office. One of the girls said “she did not take her medicine so that’s why she is acting like that.” Next the Dean said “that’s still no reason for you to be crying like that.” The Dean let the other girls go and she told my daughter to stay until she stopped crying and shaking. She told her to go in a private area. The Dean did not want her to go to her next class in that shape. She continued to be emotional shaking and crying(not violent). The Dean started saying things about my daughter who caused her get even more upset and madder. At that point the Dean called the police on my daughter. When the police came, my daughter got the impression that the police seemed like she was going to jump. The School Police said then jump. My daughter said “that she was not going to do nothing.” “They thought I was going to throw hands, but I was not then they still were talking about me.” “But I did not do anything I kept my cool so I just ignored everything they had said bout me so then when I had got calmed down the police officer had took me back to class.” “As she was walking me back to class she had acted like she had understood where I was coming from but when we were in the office she acted like she did not understand were I was coming from.” for no reason …
My daughter came home and told me everything as always. When I went up to the school about this incident, the ESE teacher said my daughter initially was being defiant. I said defiant. Immediately you think of a monster. They continued to explain to me what happened.
I share this experience, to make aware, enlighten you. My daughter did not understand that she did something wrong because she would go see her former ESE teacher daily without getting to her 5th grade class late. She was in the EH rogram (emotional handicapped). No one took that in consideration. I had explained my child’s emotionality’s /anxieties this to the police officer from day one in the event that something might happen. When you do not understand a word or a term that is being used to describe your love one look it up. Defiant means disobedient. Defiant is a much harsher sounding word which can describe your loved one incorrectly. The new terminology is Choice. Yes we make choices but some of use need help to understand that the choice we make can impact our lives in a way we never dreamed of. Choice making practice may be come necessary to help a loved one.
This is a perfect example of a behavioral problem vs. bad behavior. She did not set out to do something wrong. She believed that she was only going to say hi to her former ESE teacher. That’s why it is important to listen to how your love ones think. Don’t say they mean this or that. Acknowledge it and correct it. Everyone has a style of thinking. Emotional problems can somehow get mixed up with violent behavior by even Professionals. If my child would have been put into the back of a police car that would have destroyed her for nothing as it has done so many… coming soon another experience. Please visit www.whatzuup.org
